Individual Counseling
Sessions
I offer counseling for adult children of narcissistic parents.
It may be time to try individual counseling if you are tired of watching yourself make the same mistakes, or have the same looping, intrusive thoughts again and again.
Do you see yourself in the following descriptions of two types of daughters of narcissistic mothers?
The Over-achiever
When someone asks how you are–your answer is almost always “Busy!” You may lie and say “Good! but Busy!” You can’t imagine a life where you slow down and take a breath. People NEED you. Your children NEED you. You don’t want them to have the same shitty experiences you had growing up, so you are there for them, without fail, and it is taking its toll.
It’s the same thing at work. Without you, the place would fall apart. It’s a constant battle between being there for your boss, your children, not to mention–your partner. You can’t think of the last time you took a bath and were able to actually unwind (and not just pretend) or go to a coffee shop, alone–and really enjoy yourself. Everyone benefits from your empathetic and high-achieving approach—-except you. Your house is spotless, but Inside your bones ache and you can’t stop the mean task master in your head driving you on.
The Self Saboteur
You just need to make it through the day. You can’t wait to get home so that you can get to your sweat pants, your glass of wine and your TV and pretend that everything is fine. You are alone but you are too tired to care and you tell yourself you are fine with that.
Your last couple relationships have been disasters. You can’t seem to take care of yourself AND another person, so it’s better for now just to hide with your dog (or cat) (or cactus). Life isn’t so bad, you say. But you still keep trying everything to feel better. Yoga last week, boot-camp in August, Buddhism in 2012. You even ran a 1/2 marathon and have tried the trusty geographical cure several times, but you still just feel lost, and empty inside.
Things CAN change.
It may feel like your life will never change and it will just be one endless slog until you die. It does not have to be this way. Things CAN change. You have found ways of coping with what happened to you that just aren’t working anymore. Now you need someone to sit with you while you get honest about your experiences and how much they hurt you. By accepting what happened and feeling the feelings you will begin to feel differently about your past, and yourself.
You will become more compassionate toward yourself, and be able to ease up on the gas pedal. You will be able to breathe and enjoy your life in a way that you haven’t since you were a young child. EMDR therapy can make this A-LOT quicker, and therefore, less painful.
What Keeps You Stuck
Much of our work together will be growing your understanding of your past, how it effected you, and uncovering restricting beliefs you developed during childhood to help you survive. Then we work to change them, in order to provide you with more freedom and flexibility in life. Here are some beliefs that you may have picked up being raised by a selfish parent.
- There is something wrong with me
- It’s my fault
- I just need to try harder
- I’m not good enough
- I can’t get what I want
- No one believes me
- It’s easy for other people
- Other people know what to do
- Life will always be like this
- I don’t trust myself
- I don’t know how I feel
- I am too sensitive
What Gets You Free
- I did my best
- It wasn’t my fault
- I am fine how I am
- I can figure this out
- Relationships can be safe
- I am in control
- I can say no
- I am lovable
- I can change my life
- My sensitivity is a gift
Through our work in therapy you will arrive at beliefs which are much more beneficial to your life.
REQUEST A CONSULTATION
267-587-6332