I support people in being happy with their partner. Couples Counseling helps you understand certain patterns you and your partner have unintentionally created. And it can help you talk about subjects you normally avoid.
You felt good about your relationship in the beginning–connected, and excited to begin your life together. Years have passed and now you wonder what went wrong. You want to feel close, and have calm conversations. Instead, you wind up upset, and reactive— or equally painful–you avoid talking entirely. Your partner takes what you are saying out of context. Sometimes it feels they’re deliberately misunderstanding you
IN THE BEGINNING IT WAS EASY
In the beginning—between love hormones and–the excitement and relief of meeting someone–things feel easy. It came naturally to be open and honest with your feelings. As the relationship continues though–a subtle shift occurs. You develop a greater need to protect yourselves. It may be that there are children now and so much more at stake. You guard your thoughts and feelings because you can’t risk sharing them.
You are not alone. In evolutionary terms it is only necessary for the species to survive. It follows that you are good at avoiding issues and staying away from conflict. Unfortunately, it is important to have the difficult conversations if you want to be happy with your partner. This can create more closeness and connection—despite fears to the contrary. It is counter-intuitive, but often it is best to lean into our fear–take some risks and see what happens when we do. A therapist can help by being there to mediate and guide conversations in a way that helps you both feel listened to.
Fortunately for us, we can transcend our genetics, and our cultural influences–which suggest that one person should be able to meet all our needs. It just takes some self-reflection and a willingness to be honest.
HOW COUPLES COUNSELING HELPS
Therapy can help you feel more interested and curious about your partner.
If you would like to begin a journey toward more honest connection and discover something better today please contact me for a free consultation.
My practice is LGBTQ friendly, and I welcome all people willing to engage in regular therapy and put the work in to improve their relationships and their life. I work not only with romantic partners, but with people in difficult work relationships, family relationships, or friendship