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Holistic Counseling for ADULT Daughters Of NArcissistic mothers

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Is it possible you never got over your “not great” childhood?

Many people think they have moved past their childhoods when they don’t feel sad about it anymore. But what they don’t realize is that the problem has jumped from feeling it, to living it. Now it shows up in their lives as symptoms such as anxiety, isolation, substance abuse, and painful thoughts and feelings. Do you see yourself in the following descriptions of two types of daughters of narcissistic mothers?

The Over Achiever
When someone asks how you are–your answer is almost always “Busy!” You may lie and say “Good! but Busy!”

You can’t imagine a life where you slow down and take a breath.

People NEED you. Your children NEED you. You don’t want them to have the same shitty experiences you had growing up, so you are there for them, without fail, and it is taking its toll.

It’s the same thing at work.

Without you, the place would fall apart. It’s a constant battle between being there for your boss, your children, not to mention–your partner.
You can’t think of the last time you took a bath and were able to actually unwind (and not just pretend) or go to a coffee shop, alone–and really enjoy yourself.
Everyone benefits from your empathetic and high-achieving approach—-except you.
Your house is spotless, but Inside your bones ache and you can’t stop the mean task master in your head driving you on.

You Need Something to Change

The Self Sabatour

You just need to make it through the day. You can’t wait to get home so that you can get to your sweat pants, your glass of wine and your TV and pretend that everything is fine.

Even though you do spend time like this, you probably struggle with feeling guilty when you aren’t doing anything “productive.”
You are alone but you are too tired to care and you tell yourself you are fine with that.
Your last couple relationships have been disasters. You can’t seem to take care of yourself AND another person, so it’s better for now just to hide with your dog (or cat) (or cactus). Life isn’t so bad, you say. But you still keep trying everything to feel better.
Yoga, buddhism, running– but you still often come back to feeling lost, and empty inside.

Things CAN change.

It may feel like your life will never change and it will just be one endless slog until you die. It does not have to be this way. Things CAN change. You have found ways of coping with what happened to you that just aren’t working anymore. Now you need someone to sit with you while you get honest about your experiences and how much they hurt you. By accepting what happened and feeling the feelings you will begin to feel differently about your past, and yourself.

You will become more compassionate toward yourself, and be able to ease up on the gas pedal. You will be able to breathe and enjoy your life in a way that you haven’t since you were a young child. EMDR therapy can make this A-LOT quicker, and therefore, less painful.

“How do I know if my mom was a narcissist?”(click)

OUR WORK TOGETHER

You need someone who “gets it.” Let me support you by:

Providing a warm, compassionate space, and my deep, undivided attention for the things you need to say.
Allowing and encouraging you to experience the feelings you have avoided.
Responding with understanding and compassion as you talk about those things you are afraid you will be judged for.
Assisting you in slowing down, and feeling grounded, so that you can decide with confidence what it is you want in life.
Offering EMDR therapy to provide relief from some of your most troubling thoughts and feelings.
Facilitating new ways of thinking that are supportive of you and your goals.
Coaching you on new, more effective ways of communicating with those you love so that you can feel satisfied in your relationships.
Teaching you how to identify and ask for what you need so that you can feel more in control, and more trusting.
(When you feel ready) creating a plan with you, so that you can move forward confidently and with a sense of ease, and centeredness toward the things that you care about.
Laughing with you along the way–because humor is healing and so important!

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Counseling Services

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Families

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Some Words of Comfort

Finding a therapist is hard. You imagine you will have to spill all your secrets in the first session to a perfect stranger. You imagine your therapist might act like your mean third grade teacher or mother, and you aren’t sure you can deal with that just now—not with everything else that is going on.

I have been there— worried about the imaginary person who waits in the chair, who might want to insert their beliefs and opinions into your raw and fragile brain. I promise not to do this. I will always respect you and the feelings and thoughts that you bring into the room.

I am warm and accepting, and my clients tell me they feel safe with me. We don’t know each other yet and it takes time to develop trust. In order to facilitate that I invite you to call me for a chat, or a 30 minute pre-session phone consultation. We can discuss any fears you may have and I can answer your questions.

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“The WIEBGE acronym stands for “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?”, and signifies certification in Dr. Karyl McBride’s five-step recovery model for treating adult children of narcissistic parents.”

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What is wrong and How I can Help

I want to help you slow it WAY DOWN, so that you can notice, and enhance those moments that feel good.

A string of tiny joyful moments can create a life worth living.

Our brains often get carried away. We have to assist them–by getting in touch with our bodies through our breath and attention. Then we can actually hear the inner voices that tell us what we really want to do right now, and how we really feel about that–no matter who it might inconvenience!

You feel lonely, anxious, and un-motivated. You keep going, because that is what you do. You are empathetic and insightful and this helps you navigate the world. But inside things don’t feel like you think they should.

“How do I know if my mom was a narcissist?”(click)

OUR WORK TOGETHER