Why Feelings Aren’t a Waste of Time
Feelings do take up time in therapy. Some people are okay with this, but others feel as if feeling in therapy is a bit of a waste of time. They want to get to the answers and figure themselves out. They have a hard time seeing how crying about the upsetting memory they had before lunch can in anyway help them move forward.
Some people don’t want to smear their make-up. Some people are experts at tucking those pesky feelings right back where they belong—hidden deep inside, where they can continue to cause anxiety, chronic illness, poor behavior and bad decisions— if they aren’t seen, accepted and dealt with.
I’ll be honest—I’m not a big fan of feelings all the time either. They are so non-linear. They are so indirect, so out of control, and ugh—so vulnerable. And this is why it is so important to get to them in therapy. Because if you can get a little more comfortable with being vulnerable in therapy, you can get a little more comfortable with the part of you that is most YOU. And don’t you want that?
And no, just because your feelings feel out of control sometimes, doesn’t mean that that is YOU. Out of control emotions come from not knowing how to deal with emotions, not giving space to emotions, judging emotions, and not knowing how to be with ourselves, and our emotions. Emotions are meant to just arise, be felt, and move on through. If they don’t there is something there that is getting in the way, which needs to be identified and addressed.